Thursday, January 08, 2009

Diet Plan Satire

Introducing the DSK Diet program. Simple. Just follow these easy instructions:

1. Acquire the newly discovered Wightman-Severson gene, which gives canker sores to anyone who gets bonked in the mouth, bites their lip or tongue, consumes three or more potato chips or just one walnut.

2. Choose your canker-sore producing activity of choice. It can be anything as long as there is a certainty of bonking, biting, or walnuts.

3. Wait 2-3 days... and then the magic begins! Watch the pounds melt away!

Don't believe us?

Listen to what Danielle Koberstein of Fremont had to say:
" The DSK diet program helped me lose five pounds in seven days! After biting my lip while eating Christmas truffles, the Wightman-Severson gene went right to work, producing two high quality canker sores which completely obliterated my desire to eat anything at all! Thanks DSK diet!"

It's true, it's true, the DSK diet program can work for you!
Have you or a friend had experiences with canker sores? We'd love to hear your stories of success! :)


At January 09, 2009 7:26 AM , Blogger Brooklyn said...


Nice, nice :)

At January 09, 2009 10:16 AM , Blogger Aaron and Emily said...

So THAT's why Aaron is so skinny. I used to wonder why I eat more than my husband does.

One helpful thing for him to sleep. When he is under stress and not sleeping, that is another source of cankersores for him.

At January 09, 2009 11:34 AM , Blogger John and Tawnya Hoover said...

poor thing!!! i mean awesome on the weight loss ( its what we women strive for) but sad days a candy did that to you!!

At January 09, 2009 1:00 PM , Blogger JulieD said...

Wait, how do you know Danielle??? She's from my home stake, I grew up with her.

At January 09, 2009 1:57 PM , Blogger Erin said...

HA--you crack me up!!

At January 09, 2009 2:02 PM , Blogger Erin said...

I also wanted to mention how dang CUTE your kiddos are!!!

At January 09, 2009 4:21 PM , Blogger sunnysnows said...

BEAUTIFUL satire. :) I hope your mouth feels better soon!

At January 14, 2009 8:03 PM , Blogger Camille said...

you're so hilarious. Actually, I wish it worked that well for me. Apparantly my food cravings overcome my pain levels. If they'd just let me eat in labor and delivery I could do it all with out any form of medication or sedation!


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